Content Warning: Mental health
Precursors to this chapter:
-- Dawn of a New Day --
Early, early morning the next day –
when everybody in the Holmesen-Fredriksen household was still
sleeping, dreaming about their future, whether that be among the
stars or at the office helping people through therapy and medication
and one day getting that promotion...
It was just then, early,
early in the morning, that a vehicle pulled up to a house on the
southwestern corner of this little town... the students were back
after another semester had ended.
Oliver Freddys notes:
The benefits of leaving in the evening and driving through the night is that it allows one to sleep during the ride. It's quite an amazing service offered to students from out of town, to rent a car with its own driver to get us safely from point A to point B. The driver had to wake both of us up when he stopped outside Inges home to drop her off, before continuing on the very last leg to make home to my beloved mothers house.
I was excited to see how it had
turned out, as she had been working hard by hiring contractors to get
her house painted properly after all these years. She had even
expanded it with a new fitness room, placing the old weight machine
inside, as well as a laundry room, a new small bathroom on the first
floor and a new room that would be for me and me alone on the second
floor.. A little late, but no more sharing a room with my brother...
I was pleased to see that it still looked like mamas old house, like home, even with the paint. And it did look better, more cared for, less run down. I'm sure it would look even better in daylight. She had even built in the porch where she so often used to sit next to the refridgerator on the left side of the house, quite possibly as an expansion to the kitchen.
She had kept the doors of the house, but they were all given a new set of paint and been properly greased making them completely silent and easy to open. Robert, who was busy doing yesterdays homework didn't even hear me as I walked in the door. That's how quiet it was. The colour choices, though much brighter than the murky old wood, wasn't necessarily my cup of tea, but this is my mothers home, so if this is how she wants it, this is how it's going to be. It is definately an improvement though. It feels much brighter and more spacious – because it is. The kitchen and dining area is vastly improved, I must say.
I didn't want to pester the young man hard at work on his academic responsibilities so I only gave him a brief greeting before checking out the upstairs and my new room.
Walking silently so as to not wake up my mother who was presumably still sleeping at the end of that hallway. I couldn't hear the tv being on, so she had to be. Interestingly she had still kept her old reading chair by the staircase, though all the furniture downstairs was brand new. She must like the style of the old doors too, as even the new door to my room was in the same style.
My old bed was still there too, as well as my old paintings from my elementary school afternoon classes. Then over there at the far end of the room was a little office space with a brand new computer. Would be perfect if I should need to examine data and take some notes on my research. My mother is the best mother anyone could want.
So I thought I would make sure breakfast was ready by the time she got out of bed. Now, again with the colour palette.. it could take some time getting used to, but looking beyond that this new kitchen certainly felt much more appealing than the old one.. even if the stove was still the good old stove. My mother must have had this vision of her home all along. It was a little unfortunate that I found a tray of burnt waffles already in there though, and the culprit was right behind me finishing up his homework. I am not going to blame for this mistake, the mastery of cooking will surely come with age, and besides, I have once myself forgotten food in the stove and even set it on fire earlier.
I just hope that what made him burn the waffles are not the same distractions that I sometimes experience.
It
was unfortunate though that when my mother finally woke up, she had
no time for breakfast as she had to to work straight away. We could
all hear the car horn honking impatiently outside.
"Morning
Oliver. Nice to see you're back" she said as she walked towards
the front door. "I totally forgot I had to go to work today, I'm
sorry. Leave some waffles for me when I get back, will
ya."
Well.. it turns out my mother was right all along. The car pool driver was the one that had things mixed up, because only a few minutes later she came back in through the door.
"Huh, figures. Hans had
forgotten again. He just never remembers that I have the first
tuesday off every month" she said as she walked towards the
kitchen. "Are the waffles still warm?"
I could tell
from her voice that the drivers forgetfulness had caused a little bit
of grumpiness in her, but it waned quickly enough as she could get
out of her workwear to sit down and eat.
Yeah, and about changing outfits, after she had changed she told me to put on my swimwear because we would be going the beach later. I thougt that sounded like a good idea, and I know Robert Bråge would love it. I didn't understand why they didn't put on theirs though, but either way... she also complimented and thanked me kindly for making waffles. It was the least I could do, I thought, for all the things she had done for me over the years.
I also made sure to compliment my brother for doing his homework, and of course, do my best to further instill in him the importance of paying attention to his academic duties and doing well in school. I can see that his mind is leaning towards being creative and not necessarily seeking to uncover the truths, yet I find it quite enjoyable that he has a profound interest in science; particularly that which relates to astronomy. I wouldn't mind it at all if he became an astrophysicist one day, and with his proclivity for adventure I could easily see him becoming one, but an author in science fiction would also be fine.
I was pleased to find a specimen
of a kissing gouramis in the little office room next door, and you
know, I just couldn't resist taking a DNA sample of it. Yeah, I know
it's summer holiday, but the more DNA samples I get, the closer I
will be to cracking the code on how to make human-plant hybrids.
Maybe. Well, I don't know
that I will be, but the more data I can gather, the more I can learn
anyway.
It's not hurting the
fish, it's not hurting anyone and collecting data is what makes me
happy, so.. I can't see any way that this can hurt.
-- Transparent --
Once I had finished basking in my joy of successfully exctracting another DNA sample my mother entered the room and wanted to talk to me with a concerned look on her face. Something told me then that she had other plans for today then going to the beach...
She wasn't just concerned, she was
also sorry and apologetic about not having dealt with this issue when
I was younger.. nipped it in the bud, so to speak. It must have
started somewhere around just a few weeks after my first day at
school. To me there was nothing wrong with it initially. It was
genuinely as if I had made a new friend.. but I did get a feeling
that something was off when I talked about him to the other kids and
they didn't even believe he was real. I guess, besides that, nobody
else thought to much of it either, becuase kids sometimes have
imaginary friends, and they just assumed that one day I would grow
out of it.
Well, it turns out that there was a little more to it than that, because by the time I became a teenager it was still there, and by then it wasn't really so friendly anymore. I mean, we still had our moments when we went fishing together.. but it also became increasingly sinister as time went on and we sort of became enemies. That's also when I stopped going on fishing trips, something which I didn't feel comfortable doing again until just a year ago when I went fishing with Inge and Samantha.
It is certainly interesting that having them around makes the..
it somehow keeps it at a distance and makes me much more comfortable
to go fishing, even though I could still hear it lurking around in
the bushes behind us. I knew now that it was because of this voice,
this once 'imaginary' friend turned enemy that my mother wanted me to
join her for her regular appointment with the doctor...
I became at a loss
for words at first. Was this happening to me? I should have seen this
coming, but I.. could not believe.. that what I had experienced was..
it was an illness... that had to be treated. How could I,
Oliver Freddy, a student of science and medicine, not see this in
myself?
I am not proud of
what happened next. I was not quite ready yet to acknowledge this to
its full extent in front of my mother, or to myself, so I went on to
talk about her job at the Sunset Valley Gazette instead.. how rude
she was she went out the door when I had made an effort to make
breakfast for them this morning! Rude! My own mother! So ...rude!
To tell me this to my face! There is nothing wrong with
me!
And now... because of my tirade I expected her to react with anger. Not because my mother is an angry person. She is not. I can not actually remember her ever being angry with me. If she ever was angry, it was usually at something else. Sometimes she was upset with work, with the tv, or other.. people, but never me. She was never upset with me. She always kind, nurturing, loving, caring.. and she was now as well. I could tell she did not enjoy my tirade, but she kept it to herself because there was something more important that needed to be done than to yell back at me. That would not have done any good. And it was as I later came to realize, not my fault. Not really, no.
She emphasized and understood that I was upset. After all she had just 6 months earlier gone through the same discussion with herself in her own head to come to terms with making this step.. She rationalized with me further that it would be beneficial for me and used herself as an example. Her days and weeks, they weren't perfect now, but they were better. Good enough for her to finally have found the energy she needed to redecorate her house, like she had wanted to do for such a long time. Well... I was still only living in a student dorm and had no plans of redecorating anything at the moment, but I got what she was trying to say...
One day in the future me and Inge would have our own house and most likely kids of our own.. So if I wasn't doing it for me alone.. I was doing it for what would come in the future.. I was still hesitant, but.. decided to give it a shot since it had done her so well..
After phoning the doctor's office to inform them I was coming along, she walked out into the living room and informed my brother of where we were going and told him to watch the house while we were away – and to not get into any mischief...
..but teenagers will do what teenagers do, and I could see him picking up his phone to call someone as soon as she was out the door. I pretended not to see it and assumed he was just calling his girlfriend or asking some friends to hang out or something equally innocent. In spite of his burnt waffles, I trusted my brother to not burn down the house while we were away...
I am reluctant to give out the details of everything that happened in the doctor's office, it's not that interesting. It was mostly me recounting everything that happened up until now, discussing it with the doctor, and my mother, and ending with a prescription of medicine and a promise that I would see her again friday next week. Then without my mother. I felt really strange when we left the doctor's office. Was this it? Had I done it? I felt.. sad. Strangely sad, as if I knew that what I had up until now was a part of me was now on its death bed, just waiting to draw its final breath. Yet, also optimistic. It was a weird sensation of.. grief.. and hope. I wanted to..
I had to look away from my mother as we walked towards the car, I didn't want her to see the tear on my face. I still don't know excactly what it meant, if it was because I was sad or.. something else? It was like I could finally move my arms again. Stretch them out and reach for the sun. Spread them out, and fly..
Was this what it was like? Had I know become the bird? Yearning for freedom, yet scared of heights.
-- Playing Games --
Robert Bråges notes:
After mom and Oliver was out of the house I called Margrethe to hang out. While waiting for her to come over I turned on the console to play a round of CastleDusk. Today was to good of a day to waste inside, so I wanted to go hiking and fishing. It didn't help much that I tried be as enthusiastic as I could when I said it.
"A mountain hike? Seriously?" she replied and I just... oh no, and I felt right away this was going to be difficult...
Of course, she started talking about how she would rather look at clothes and makeup. And she said it teasingly, as if she knew I was gonna hate it. Yeah, I just couldn't do that, I would be so restless! I didn't say it out loud, but that's the kind of thing she can do with her girlfriends!
“Do we have to?” I asked, “You know that's not my thing..”
“Oh, you'll survive,” she said, laughing just as my character on the screen died. Yeah, wasn't she being funny... ..why does she do that? It's so annoying!
“I just can't do that!” I said while placing the controller on the table, “Its just to much waiting and standing around while you keep asking me which top looks the best and I just don't know!”
“Well... what do you think I'm doing when you're fishing then?” she said turning her face away for a moment, not even looking at the tv-screen.
“Yeah, but come on.. it's not so bad. It's fresh air and on the way up there are plenty of spots that are perfect for taking pictures for your simstagram, or you know, to not lose your simsnap streak...” I said, getting a little desperate now hoping this would sell it to her.
“That's a brilliant idea! I'll be just so glorious on
every shot wearing the same sweaty hiking outfit!” she said, and I
wasn't sure if she was trying to mock me or if she meant what she
said. The next words that came out of her mouth left me no doubt.
“And even better, while your fishing, I'll share the most amazing shots of me having so much fun counting rocks or something! I almost can't wait, I'm just so dying to go!” Her sarcasm was just oh so biting... pfft... either way, I almost gave up then so I just told her “Well... then I think I'll just stay inside to finish my novel..”, but I didn't really mean that even though my novel was very, very far from finished, and I probably should have spent more time on it...
For some reason though, me saying that must have done something, because kinda suddenly she turned around to look at me before saying “Ok... what about the beach then? Not so far to walk and if it gets to hot we can just cool down in the ocean.. or get some ice cream from the ice cream truck...”
“Actually.... that's not to bad!” I
said, thinking we had just found the perfect compromise, and.. the
beach still meant that I could go fishing.
“Yeah... but you could've just said 'good idea'” she replied in a way that made me think she had wanted much more of a compliment for her suggestion.
“Well, I'm kind of an alien though, right?” I said jokingly, which immediately made me feel embarrassed. Such a lame joke...
“Then
why don't you abduct me, Mr. Alien?” she said
again sounding as if she was just mocking me.
“To..
to the beach?” I stuttered, a little surprised by her
response.
“Yeah... to the beach” she said as if it was
obvious by now that was what we were gonna do “but only if you
promise to get me an ice cream if the ice cream truck stops by.”
“Sure..
sure, I'll get you an ice cream and I promise I won't do any
fishing.”
Why on earth did I say that!? Fishing was what
I wanted to do, and now I just promised not to do it.. I'm such an
idiot!
“Yeah, that sounds great. Then maybe I won't bring the
hand sanitizer. I'll call for a taxi...”
Hand sanitizer? Uhh,
yeah... sure... I don't know which one of us is the actual alien, but
she agreed to go, so I better not say more and just go with the
flow...
So yeah, to the beach we went in the back of a taxi because none of us were old enough to drive a car on our own yet.. or drive a space ship or something. Maybe next time we could actually go hiking I thought as I felt her hand sliding gently towards mine. Maybe... because all this weird stuff about aliens, shopping and going fishing... it sort of felt like it was some kind of game she was playing, it kind of has to be. I don't think I'll ever understand her completely.. and maybe I'm not supposed to.
-- Turn of the Tide --
Oliver
Freddys notes:
In the car on the way from the doctor's office my mother said that since I had thought we were going to the beach earlier, that maybe we should be going now. She had tried a few times to catch a deathfish and not succeeded, and I guess she had hoped I would know what bait she could use for one, but I had no clue. Fish could be a good fertilizer for plants, that's really all I knew and I had yet to figure out which fertilizer worked best. I was pretty blank on bait as for most of my fishing trips as a child I didn't really use any...
“It was ok” she said “I'll figure it out. I'm just gonna stop real quick by the grocery store to buy some fruit and vegetables to try out”.
“Alright, I'll just be around the corner” I
said as I headed for the dumpster in the back. One of the many things
I have learned from my time at university is that a lot of
interesting things can be found in a dumpster, and who knows, maybe
even some good bait. Unfortunately I only got to open the lid before
she was done shopping. My mother had never really liked to go
shopping and always entered every store with an excact list of what
she wanted to buy. No time for small talk with the cashier or other
shoppers. It was always the same, get in, grab the groceries, pay and
get out as soon as possible.
The Old Pier Beach is almost within walking
distance from the grocery store, but my mother wanted to go to a more
secluded location, so it was back into her old trusted pick up truck
again. She made a left turn by the art gallery before drivng past the
iconic Art Association and down the hill to park her car on the
roadside by the Lone Wolff manor. Nobody had lived there for years so
she was mostly sure that we would have the beach down below to
ourselves. The quiet location would also make it easier to catch
fish, she said, as fish do not like a lot of noise.
It was a little steep to get there, but I guess this was the perfect spot. My mother, who was already loaded up with various types of bait, immediately went to the beach to begin fishing. I noticed there were a couple of trees and some smaller plants there, and decided I would have a closer look to find something to use for bait and maybe grab a couple of samples for later use.
I have no idea if water melons would work to catch fish, but if I can get a proper sample of its DNA I suppose this little field trip will already be worth it.
I had just finished collecting all the water melons and was about to move on to the apple trees when I heard an excited cheer as my mother caught her first fish. It was a pretty big alley catfish of perfect quality. Yeah, the fish was really biting, she told me, and I shouldn't be wasting time up there by the plants.
I ran down there and casted my fishing rod, doing
my best to mimic the swing and release movement I have seen Samantha
perform so effortlessly earlier and then waiting for my catch. My
mother beat me to it again just a few minutes later as she managed to
reel in quite a decents sized shark. It must have been around 70 kg
she said and I was incredibly impressed. My mother was better at
fishing than Samantha! However, she was not particularly excited
about this catch as the shark was only great and not perfect... I
mean, maybe she was right, I didn't know to much about fish yet, but
it definately looked pretty perfect to me, all shiny and healthy
looking.
“Watch and learn, son. Watch and learn...” she
said as she switched to using grapes for a bait before casting out
her rod again. I noticed her smug posture and looked away ever so
slightly. I was a little discontent with her gloating, this was not
the mother I knew, but I did not say anything. Even if I would not
catch a single fish, however disappointing that would be, I would not
want to say anything to ruin this moment of peace and tranquility.
It did make me a little envious though.. and I
thought that from hereon out I would need to spend a lot more time
going fishing when we go back to university. I would need to learn
everything Samantha knows, and more, preferrably before the semester
ends, and then when I come back.. we'll see who can catch the biggest
fish!
I kind of told myself that my mother was beginning to fear
the competition already when she put her rod down and said she was
getting tired and thought we should head back home. She hadn't really
slept to well this night, and I understood that it was atleast in
part because she had been anxious that anything would happen on our
travel back home from university. My dear mother, she was still the
same old as she had always been.
That's
when it hit me, since I already had the equipment with me. Well, I
always kind of did anyway, but I thought this would be a good moment
to ask my mother for a sample of her DNA – which would also be my
DNA. If only I could have done a sample of myself, I would have done
it, but that would be a little tricky as the sampler cannot be to
close to the specimen that is to be sampled. And I don't feel like
handing the sampler over to someone that is unqualified to take a
sample. It has to be done correctly. So, I figured, asking for a
sample of my mothers DNA would be as close as I could
get.
The question made my mother take a look around as if she was checking if somebody else was nearby, and I was a little worried that she would turn down my request. Clearly and understandably she had to give it some thought and I had to make a promise that I would not mention in writing or otherwise to anyone that this sample came from her if I were to make use of it for any of my academic projects. I gave her that promise, it would not be upon me to be unethical in my research.
We all had to swear the hippocratic oath during our first semester as a part of our matriculation ceremony. Mostly for show and to create a sense of unity among the freshmen and as such not excactly legally binding, but I do take it seriously. Especially in regards to my own mother. To family.
So when I had reassured my mother that her sample would remain perfectly anonymous her arms were wide open, as they usually were, and she accepted my proposal. She would not be one to stand in the way of my progress and she is certainly one to understand that knowledge is key.
“This might tickle a bit” I told her as I selected the option to begin DNA sampling.
“So...
it's not gonna hurt, right?” she asked, obviously concerned about
the physical sensation she anticipated would result from the
process.
“No, it should not” I told her “I have done this
many times before and most have described it as a tingle emanating
from their spine, supposedly even as being pleasant.”
“Oh... haha, oh... oh, I think I see what you mean.. “ she said with a nervous giggle as she turned her face away to glance over her shoulder.
It is seldom to see my mother react with such unbridled joy which made me wonder if the action of sampling someones DNA also had the effect that it would make them younger, like a child, if only for a brief moment. I took her reaction as a testament to her unconditional support for my research and continued progress – like she has always been there for me, whether the times were good or bad, and just like how I would be there for her all the same.
On our way back from the beach I pondered about
ways to convert human DNA samples into seeds that could be planted
into the ground. I wasn't sure what use it would have, and I would
probably struggle to receive funding for this kind of research, but
it was an idea that I simply was unable to let go of. If, somehow,
humans could be grown from seeds in the ground, than I imagined that
all the issues that would otherwise come with creating new life in
the ordinary way would be non-existant, particularly in regions of
the world where appropriate healthcare was scarce. I should take note
to use that argument in my applications for grants when that time
comes.
******
Robert
Bråges notes:
“Last
one in the water is a rotten shark!” I shouted as the taxi parked
by the beach and I got out running as fast as I could towards the
water.
“No I'm not!” she shouted in return unlocking her seat
belt as fast as she can to run after me through the sand. I could
feel she was right behind me all the way, but I could not let her
win. I ran out into the water not noticing that she had stopped right
before entering the water.
“Come on, jump in! Don't be such a scaredy cat! The water isn't cold!” I shouted to her from the water. Why did she become such a coward all of a sudden?
“I'm sorry.. I don't think.. I don't think I can go swimming today.. not yet”, she said. “You have fun.. I'll just wait here..”
“Why?”, I asked, feeling confused. “What's wrong? It's not gonna be half as fun if you're not jumping in!”
“I'm
sorry, I just can't.. not now..” she said, but that didn't feel
right to me.
“If you're not coming in then I'm coming up!”
I said as I turned around and swam back towards the beach.
If the ice cream truck had been there I would have
race her to the truck and bought her an ice cream, whether she won or
not, but the ice cream truck was nowhere to be seen. I wondered if
she had suddenly developed some dislike of water or something. First
she didn't want to go fishing and now she doesn't want to go
swimming, but I don't know.. she must have taken a bath this morning,
because in the taxi she smelled really good, so... maybe she's just
afraid of getting dirty. Yeah, that must be it. Why else would she
want to bring hand sanitizer?
I
didn't ask her about the hand sanitizer... and if she didn't want to
swim, then I guess we didn't have to. Atleast not right away. If she
wanted to hug and kiss... yeah, w-we could do that.. I tried to focus
on the flock of horses I saw standing there by the fence of the old
beachfront hotel.. Actually, I didn't even try, my thoughts naturally
went there.. how cool wouldn't it have been if I could get one of
them to sniff my hands? If we could make friends with them and ride
horses on the beach.. through the water..
But I don't think she'd
be up to that, I imagine she couldn't have brought enough of that
hand sanitizer to want to get anywhere near a horse...
I'm
not.. I mean, I don't always understand what she wants, but I think
this was one of those moments where I was supposed to kiss her? So I
tried it, but I didn't want to kiss her on the mouth, not here on the
beach where everybody could see us – that would be just to
embarassing! But I could go with the forehead.. uhh, or the eye, kind
of.. yeah, t-the eye... uhh... eyebrow... yeah... the eyebrow is
good.
And I guess it was? Because now, all of a sudden
she was ready to go swimming. Just when the horses had started to
approach us.. and she didn't even comment on the horses. That
would've been cool, but.. now that she wanted to jump into the
water.. If I had to make a choice between going with her or the
horses.. I had to choose her, and hope that the horses wouldn't go
away or something..
She swam ahead of me until we've reached just far enough so that our feet can't touch the bottom before she stops.
“See?
The water's not dangerous!” I shouted as I splashed her with water.
She immediately let out a high pitched yelp.
“Ohh, you're so
going to regret that!” she shouted, before splashing back at me.
“Just wait 'till we're back on land – I'm totally posting your
worst beach pics online!”
“Oh yeah?” I said “Sounds
like a reason to not get back on land!” I said as I turned around
to swim away from her as fast and as far out as I could.. but when I
turned around I saw to my disappointment that she hadn't followed me
there. I was to far away to shout at her, my voice would only have
drowned in the surf, but if she could've heard me I would've mocked
her for being a coward like she was afraid sharks would come eat her
or something.
******
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